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Posted 15-November-2002
Michael Percy wrote:
> This is where my interest level sinks to zero.
> Sun,earth,moon, but then... Venus?
> Of all planets, why Venus.
>
Because...."She's Got It!
Her weapon is a silver light,
flaming in a dim sunrise,
driving Brad Guth crazy,
with images hazy;
but that is no surprise!
She's Got It! Hey Brad, She's Got It!
She's your passion, in your mad fashion,
shining forth just for you!
Her Fire Women leave the ground,
burning like living flames,
and fly the whole planet 'round-
in a dirigible full of dames!
They've Got It! Hey Brad, They've Got It!
They're your madness, with their hot badness,
pulsing Laser beams that say "Let's screw!"
Cities are hidden there,
far beneath the sulfurous air,
cities that are made of fire-
your reason's funeral pyre!
They've got them! Brad says they've got them-
"They've Got Bridges! Built Between Ridges!"
For that is what you say!
But Venus is drifting off,
orbiting so far away...
it'll be a couple years,
before she comes again to play!
She's Had It! Hey Brad, She's Had It!
She's your madness, and your site's badness,
now go away and stay."
-Sara, Keren, Siobhan, and..... The Fun Boy P?
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Posted 17-July-2002
After paying my ISP bills; reformatting my C drive after the complete
crash; downloading my 417 messages (of which 378 were Oriental spam);
and trying to figure out a way to cheaply replace the clutch in my 1992
Ford Festiva that I burnt out after taking the wrong road at Pipestem
Dam while star watching, and driving down into the ravine at 3 AM
Jamestown time, around two weeks ago... followed by the 3 hour walk to a
"nearby" farm after sunrise; I have returned to the Internet, and
sci.space.history... and I have no adequate way whatsoever to thank
David Sander for the truly extraordinary thing he did in giving my a
call from the antipodes of our planet, and shooting the breeze with me
for two hours from Sydney, Australia- that is exactly and precisely what
they mean when they speak of "A magnificent gesture of friendship" in
it's finest form...for this wondrous action on his part, I have
partially forgiven the blood debt he owes me; and expect only ONE
bottle of Vegamite with my MCS DVD (But the first born son, and giant
Australian fruit bat; which I shall name "Lucifer", and carry around
Jamestown on my left shoulder.... while cackling diabolically, and
wearing nose plugs to avoid it's horrible rotten fruit/guano stench;
even more offensive than my unwashed Walmart Hushpuppy cloned shoes
after the aforementioned little morning walk, the first mile of which
was through the swamp-like field that ascended from the boggy
pestilential ravine toward the horsefly infested endless dirt road.)
are still in full effect....
So what's up around here recently?
Pat
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Posted 16-May-2002
COMRADE! The concept of the Cursed Spacecraft is all-too-typical of the
Revisionist Machinations of the Traitorous Muscovite Clique, whose
Marxist-Leninist Pretensions fell into the Vast Chasm Of History in a
manner similar to the collapse of the pathetic corroded roof over their
Running-Dog Copy of the Yankee Space Pirate Shuttle.... here, in the
more Ideologically Perfected East, the Long March To The Stars moves
Unceasingly Forward; driven by the Relentless Forces of Scientific
Socialism, and the Tireless Work of the Proletarian Laborers of the The
People's Rocket And Refrigeration Ministry, aided by the Ever-Vital
Input of the Revolutionary Fireworks And Animal Byproducts Collective
(whose motto: "Give Us A Handful Of Dung; And We'll Give You A Space
Rocket." sings a rapturous song of Sino-Socialist Solidarity!) shows us
that when dealing with the Corrupted Gangsterism of the Capitalist
Revaunchist Alliance of The United States and Commonwealth Of
Independent States (Or whatever the Hooligans who rule The Betrayed
Slavic Industrial/Agrarian Masses call themselves THIS week!) the
importance of the warning "Use Only Under Strict Socialist Supervision"
is not written in vain on the side of each Chinese Launch Vehicle....
realizing the Slight Historical Error of the concept of the Backyard
Space Launch Center, we move forward in the strict spirit of
Criticism/Self Criticism, and now realize the importance of binding the
past and present together with the Strong Chain Of Socialism, as
evidenced by our new Shenzhou Spacecraft; which is designed not only to
conform to the Highest Principles Of Maoist Endeavor, but is also in
Perfect Harmony with the Precepts Of Feng Shui; as can be seen by it's
use of four, as opposed to two, solar panels- thereby echoing the Four
Points Of The Socialist Compass: Agitation, Revolution, Agrarianism,
Strict Adherence To Marxist/Leninist Fundamentals As Interpreted By The
God-Like, But Totally Atheistic Chairman Mao; (indeed the near- constant
problems of the clumsy Soyuz were no doubt caused by it's dualistic
East/West imbalance of Chi Force...), and Shenzhou's Confucian Ideology
based flight control system makes it not only infallible- but Perfectly
Polite in all of it's maneuvers.
Red Banner Guard Patrick
( There is NO truth to the rumor that one of the Buddha's teeth is in
the cornerstone of the Three Gorges Dam.... and the bodies of 278
Tibetan monks were NOT ground into pulp and mixed into the concrete of
the dam in a 1 monk to 3.72 metric tons of concrete ratio.)
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Posted 16-May-2002
Of course not.
It was 3.76 tons.
rgds
Neil
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Posted 19-Feb-2002
One of the most tragic aspects of life in North Dakota is the terrible
speed with which blizzards can arrive at any time between mid-August and
mid-June; within one hour a storm can make it's way from the North Pole to
our state; it's arrival heralded by the earth-shaking sonic boom caused by
it's great speed. Indigenous wildlife of the state has learned to be
sensitive to this in a seismic sense...picking up the vibrations that the
sonic concussion transmits through the ground at far greater speed than
through air, and act accordingly: The Buffalo roll themselves into a
protective ball, and huddle together, stacked like cannonballs against the
approaching cold. The Beaver retreats to it's lodge, and joins other Beavers
in wild drunken revelry and the sharing of old war stories. The Prairie Dogs
implement there usual protective plan, retreating down there burrows, while
another of their kind rolls a protective rock over the hole's
opening...until only one stands on the surface...with no other left to cover
IT'S burrow...the one that doesn't make it. Badgers become even meaner than
usual, and form a protective bubble of bad temper over themselves that
neither cold nor wind may breach.
But the cattle of North Dakota have never had time to develop this "Seismic
Sense"- and suffer a cruel, if quick, death- caught by the freezing wind and
snow, frozen solid in a matter of seconds; the half chewed cud still in
their mouths. With the arrival of Spring in early July, there freeze-dried
corpses stand still upright...but mummified...blighting the landscape in
their lifeless thousands....a perpetual warning to those who would brave
this Hyperborean region.
Pat
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Posted 3-Apr-2003
OM wrote:
>So yeah, I've been busy getting the images processed, then making sure
>they go where they need to go in the FAQ.
>
I want to see the dead mouse in a bottle.
>...On a side note, the FAQ has a couple of pseudo-sponsors now. Two
>Austopolis establishments, Sugar's Uptown Cabaret and Penthouse Men's
>Club, have been providing a somewhat different compiling environment
>the past couple of weeks, including all the Dr. Pepper on tap I can
>drink along with the occasional free lunch. They've actually helped me
>keep my sanity over the past two months, and they have my thanks!
>
You know, this whole story of you and the FAQ is so very strange that it
resembles a Kevin Smith movie; at any moment I expect either Jay and
Silent Bob to arrive, or maybe even Alanis Morissette, or God, or somebody.
Maybe it's time you be inducted into The Justice League Of Mexico- but
first the J.L.O.M. needs to know the answers to these questions:
1.) What color cape do you want?
2.) What size tights do you wear?
3.) Regular wrap-around Nuclear Laser Blast emitting visor; or one with
Varilux progressive lenses?
4.) Name of cute sidekick- in your case, probably somebody like Bambi or
Vibra.
Congratulations- By day you are meek, mild mannered, OM- but by
night...you become....OMNI-MIND! Fiery Fighter against all that stands
in the way of posting politeness! Able to trim long quotes with a single
keystroke! Faster than a 500 gigahertz microprocessor! Able to leap tall
strippers with a single bound! ....Strange visitor from another state!
Dedicated enemy of all those who would stand against Truth, Justice, and
The Usenet Way!
"As we join Omni Mind, a dire crises has arisen- a transdimensional
shift in the Strata Of Cyberspace has opened a Hypercrack in Killfile
Hell.... and through it....Mad Maxson has escaped, leading a army of
human-frog hybrid trolls!"
Mad Maxson: "FORWARD, MY FRIENDS! THE DAY OF OUR VENGEANCE IS AT HAND!"
Troll Army: "OUI! OUI!"
Mad Maxson: "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO DO THAT BEFORE WE LEFT KILLFILE
HELL..."
Pat
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