|
James and I are on the same flight, in business class, and for the same
reason - both of us went frequent flyer and it was either business or
6am economy. Since he's an even more extreme night owl than me, he also
chose to spend the extra 10,000 points to fly at night. After all, I'm
not going anywhere for the foreseeable future, what with no holidays left.
Things
I'm going to miss
- my
husband
- my
dog Star and cat Oscar
- friends
and colleagues
- my
bed
- my
garden over the summer
- the
mandarins will probably fruit when I'm away
- the
end of season rock bottom sale at my favourite clothes shop
- the
harbour
- the
Sydney Festival
- my
mail
- privacy...
living with 5 people means no time in the living room on your own..
.no blasting Rachmaninoff over the CD player.. No quiet to read in unless
you shut yourself away in your room.
Things
I'm NOT going to miss
- working
(sorry, boss)
- stuff
I do around the house.. it'll be shared by more people so presumably
there'll be less to do, and I won't have to worry about house maintenance
either
- the
renovations!
- all
the ways that my normal life stops me writing
- TV,
with the exception of Dr Who and Gilmore Girls.
Saturday
1 January 2004
Gone!
This
morning I got my toes painted, but I forgot to bring my lovely gold polish
so they're a soft purple instead. Gorgeous.
At
the last minute, I took out the CD player I'd packed into my suitcase.
It seemed too heavy and it wasn't essential, so out it went. I met James
at the airport, and discovered that I had 2k too much in the bag.
Luckily
James let me squish a few things into his bag, and it was all ok. At Brisbane
airport we waited for Kate to pick us up. "How will we know it's
Kate?" James said. But when Kate appeared I knew instantly that it
was her. She just had the air of a super efficient go getting SF writer
type of person.
Sure
enough, it turned out to be Kate, and we arrived at campus to find Karen,
Sarah, and Matt already in residence.
Our
rooms are, well, spartan. It's pretty much the same as a prison cell -
yellow cement block walls, grey blobby carpet, prison green sheets.
The
first task was to put together one's own fan, and once it was up, some
relief from the unbelievable humidity ensued. I can hardly believe I'm
here at last after all the time I've spent thinking about it!
Kate
spent some time trying to get my Internet connection working, to no avail.
Apparently we need a secret code which won't be available until Monday.
Rats. So this will have to wait until then.
Sunday
2 January 2004
Day
0
Everyone
else arrived today, and by the time I emerged Karen was raring to go to
the shops for supplies. I pleaded for time to gulp some coffee, which
she kindly granted, and then we set off for the shops. We came back with
a big bunch of stuff, food, drinks, etc.
I
also bought:
- folding
file
- folders
for stories
- pens
(I only brought 1!)
- a
powerboard
- a
water filter jug
- a
water jug for my room.
The
shopping centre had about 6 little aquariums dotted through one of the
corridors filled with all kinds of beautiful reef fish and so on. We spent
a good 20 minutes oohing and aahing at them - brightly coloured gorgeous
things that normally you don't get to see up close even when you snorkel.
Sarah summed up our feeling when she said she felt privileged to have
seen them.
I
sat in my room and decided it was too prison for words, and I just can't
live with it for six weeks. So when we went back again later in the day,
I bought:
- a
dark red rug
- an
organza orange curtain, which I'll hang on the wall - it sounds like
it clashes but actually they look nice together
- and
a cane box which I can use as a bedroom bedside table.
I
have these things in the room now, (though the curtain isn't hung yet
due to a lack of hooks) and it makes a huge difference.
I
also want to buy a new mattress - the one we have here won't do my back
any good over 6 weeks. And we all need better chairs - these are RSI inducing
ones with no back support.
I
am feeling so precious about wanting all this, but I've decided to be
pampered and proud. I'm 42, not 20 and that's that. I'll spend a little
money to make this as comfortable and pleasant as I can and that will
keep my mood much more pleasant as well, which is good for everyone else
as well as me. (It's a good rationale, anyway).
I
am first off the island
Tonight
we went to the convenors' room for dinner. It had been raining, and the
path was slippery, and BOOM I slipped over and twisted my ankle. It hurts
like buggery.
20
faces crowded around, and Cat sat down on the wet path with me in a lovely
gesture of support while the shock wore off. Someone rushed off for ice
and a glass of water, and people helped me down the path. I sat there
like Lady Muck during the intro with my foot up, with ice on it, and people
ran off to get me gin and tonics and food and stuff.
At
least 6 people offered to get me food... what a lovely considerate bunch.
About three people said that "we're picking them all off one by one",
like an Agatha Christie. Sarah already sprained her wrist picking up her
suitcase, so I'm not the first injury.
Then
at the end of the night Chris and Damon acted as human crutches to get
me back here, bless them. Ah well.. at least I got to hold on tight to
two guys on my first night.
I
really hope it's not sprained, only twisted, because that will mean a
much faster recovery.
Anyway,
I am first off the island - no spearing fish or anything for me.
Blogging
We
have been warned about blogging etiquette. No talking about individual
stories other than your own, no talking about other critiques, and if
you do talk about your own story, don't mention who said what.
No
worries... I think.
Mum
is much better
I
spoke with mum tonight and she's so much better, relaxing at the Canberra
home of a friend. She's not hearing words or mixing things up, though
she is stumbling a little unless you knew how she ordinarily speaks you'd
think nothing of it. It's such a relief!
She's
flying back to Adelaide on Tuesday, and I'm SO glad she's not driving
across country. I
suspect she is as well.
First
session in the morning
Thank
Christ I didn't offer to go first tomorrow... I am not presenting my story
until Wednesday and that's fine with me!
Week
1
Monday
3 January 2004: Day 1
I
still don't have access to the Internet, which is pissing me off mightily.
I have withdrawal symptoms! I feel cut off from everyone, and I really
really hate it. I am disgusted with myself for feeling this way, but I
can't help it. Karen M has gone off to see if she can get it happening
for me... I so hope it works.
This
afternoon I have to go and pick up my car from Hamilton, which is on the
other side of Brisbane, then critique four stories and begin to write
something new for next week. In a pinch I can rework Rockfall,
but I hope to write something fresh.
We
have some of the living arrangement stuff worked out in that kind of casual
way people seem to use... it's alien to me but I don't want to take over
and boss everyone. I bit my tongue, and within a day something had happened.
I'm not sure what, there was no official meeting or anything but somehow
we've agreed to pay, shop and cook for one meal each per week, and see
how it goes this week to review if needed. This type of process is most
mysterious to me. But hey, it works, and I didn't need to take over, which
is a relief.
Surprisingly,
I am not the loudest, bossiest person in the group. Normally I am, but
here there are loud, strong, out there people all over the place. It's
quite a relief not to stand out as much as I usually do.
I
liked it when one person critiqued a story this morning and said some
insightful stuff about making sure the future world was internally consistent.
It's great to be among like minded people, rather than getting those "you
are SO weird" looks when you describe what you're writing.
First
critique
This
morning was just fabulous. We critiqued two long stories, and I was totally
blown away by the quality of the comments people delivered, from structure
to characterisation to language.. you name it. I am now really excited,
even more than I have been before, and feel incredibly lucky to be here.
If I integrate even a tenth of what we're hearing my writing will improve
enormously.
What
I learned today
I'm
not going to record everything.. just the things I found particularly
useful. I
also have to make sure that they don't relate to a particular story.
Two
books to read: Self Editing for Fiction Writers, by Brown and King;
and Dare to be a Great Writer, by Leonard Bishop. Kim Wilkins recommends
both of these, but especially the first.
Writing
tips for today:
- when
you're first writing a story you may not know a character all that well,
and you may not quite know what they're feeling at various points. So
go back through when you're finished and add in the person's feelings
if they're missing or unclear.
- if
you have too many "I" sentences in a row, one remedy is to
intersperse them with sensory detail to break them up, or to drop the
I and just describe what's happening in quasi-third person.
- poems
and lyrics can sound amateur, or at best tend to jump readers out of
the story. You are probably trying to achieve something with them -
work out what that is, and do something else to achieve the same thing.
- work
out what you're trying to do with the story, ie what is the goal? what
is the throughline? Pin it up on the wall to help you focus on it.
- sometimes
you have a key point that you really have to make sure the readers get
so that the story makes sense, but you don't want to bash them over
the head with it. In this case, say it three times, but in different
ways, eg once through action, once through dialogue and once through
narrative/gesture or some other way. Because you're not repeating the
method of delivering the point it doesn't feel like repetition but you
will make sure readers understand it
- make
sure you understand what your main point or theme is, and then tie the
ending to that.
Half
internet; half ready with story
I
now have access to the Internet via the university LAN, but they must
have some strange rules or something. I can view web pages, but not upload
to my server (eg this blog) or send email. I was trying to talk to Tony
on MSN but it bumped me off every 3 minutes or so.
So,
I got a dialup connection via phone, which also gives me phone calls out
of my room, but while I do have a piece of paper with instructions and
a PIN on it, they don't work.
Grrrrr.
This is SO frustrating.
I
spent this evening revising Tante Lini for Wednesday's class. It's
now nearly midnight and I haven't done one critique... it'll have to be
in the morning. Only problem is, I can't upload anything; don't have a
floppy drive; don't have a blank CD to burn it on to; and can't email.
My printer is here and plugged in but it is going wild and not printing
anything.
So...
I have no idea how I'm going to get my story in tomorrow. Hmm.
Tuesday
4 January 2004: Day 2
Connected
at last
I
now have access to my dialup account and I can make phone calls as well.
Apparently they took my money but forgot to tell the computer, so that's
why it didn't work. In the meantime, burned a CD with the story on it
for tomorrow, so all is well.
Now
all I need is to get my printer working.
I
sat up until 2am last night critting stories but I won't do that again,
it used the active part of my brain too much and I couldn't sleep afterwards.
Thus
when Claire and Sarah knocked on my door at 9.30 to borrow my car, I was
damn near unconscious. Just as well they did though, as I did need to
get that story in.
At
the last minute I put back in the framing story that Lady Churchill's
didn't like. It just doesn't seem right with nothing there, even though
it's probably heavy handed it needs something. I can't wait to hear people's
opinions.
That
story needs a narrative structure to bear its weight, and damned if I
know what.
Critting
fun
I
loved this afternoon's session once again. It was extremely hard work,
lots of intense focus. I'm starting to see whose opinions match mine and
whose don't. I do wish we had more time with Kim to hear her talk about
the writing process, rather than just all critiquing. Perhaps that will
happen later. I hope so.
What
I learned today
- prologues
to fantasies should if possible introduce the main character, so you
have a main character to follow
- the
prologue is "an invitation to dine", so it should display
your skills to the best effect
- use
the small details to convey emotion - for example in Blade (a movie),
where at the beginning the main character is told he must choose whether
the bad guys will take his wife or his daughters - this conveys more
about the world than a recounting of history
- show
the history aspects as they impact on one particular person's actual
life and family
- begin
a prologue with a hook (eg "There was a green sun that day.. and
I'll tell you why...")
- avoid
the sentence construction "There was..." (Because it's dull)
- act
out scenes to check that the dialogue is natural and that you don't
have too big slabs of it
- at
the heart of every story there is a relationship. Look for that relationship
and make sure it's as high-impact as you can.
There
was a big discussion about present tense stories... some people in the
group really hate it, on the grounds that it's pretentious. I am now worried...
my story for tomorrow is in present tense. Sigh. Hopefully they won't
think it's pretentious. I chose it for a very specific reason.
Drinkies
I
went to the pub with Zara and we went "Blah" to each other for
an hour, which was a big relief. We both agreed that going blah to our
partners is something we'll miss, and we are useful blah recipients for
each other. Aw, how sweet.
Then
on returning Bren handed me a G&T. I love that about her!
Tonight
Tonight
I have to start a brand new story for Tuesday next week. This is where
it gets really scary.. produce, on the spot, something not too horribly
embarrassing.
Accommodations
and living
I
haven't yet described our digs. We are all in one apartment block at University
of Queensland's Nathan campus. It's a squat besser block building with
three floors, and there are three apartments with six rooms each. I'm
on the ground floor.
There's
a reasonably attractive kitchen with two large fridges (God only knows
which one the thing you want is in), and individual lockers for your secret
stash of food, which none of us has bothered locking. There's a dining
table and some pretty ordinary armchairs, plus, unfortunately, a TV. I
say unfortunately because I so loathe the sound of it unless I'm actually
watching something.
All
the rooms are the same: a small cell. There's a tiny single bed with a
thin mattress, and splodgy grey carpet, pale yellow besser brick walls,
a plastic cupboard, a plastic desk and two shelves. Much the same as the
student room I had way back in my first degree in Adelaide, so no surprises
there.
On
the plus side, we have a lovely bushland setting. Out my window I can
see trees and there's a nice breeze coming through the window most of
the time. While there's no aircon, sadly, in my room in front of the fan
it's quite pleasant.
I
have "unbleaked" it through adding the rug, orange silk curtain,
bedside cane box/table, and by bringing pillows, pillowcases and a sheet
from home in a cheery white with orange flowers on it. It makes me feel
more like home. Having my car is great too, it means I can come and go
whenever I want.
Our
floor is now officially designated the party floor (well, what did you
expect?) People drop by for drinks, steal our chocolate mousse, and whatever
else they fancy. Which is cool.. except I'm going to have to be strict
to make sure I get enough writing done.
We
have a nice routine already in our apartment - each person cooks one day
a week, and the following night does the dishes. Everyone is tidy and
cleans up their stuff, so no dramas there, which is so great. We have
a kitty, and the arrangement is loose enough for comfort but not so loose
anyone will feel ripped off.
I
guess that's one big thing about sharing with adults instead of teenage
students - everyone's house trained. I'm just going with the flow, because
I've never shared before so I'm taking the lead from others. I'm expecting
they'll know what works, and they do seem to, which is good.
Things
I brought that I'm glad I did
- coathangers
(there were none here)
- tissues
- extra
singlet tops (I'm going to need many more than I thought)
- extra
underwear (ditto)
- clock
radio
- light
(except it broke on the way here)
- printer
(also broken still)
- towels
(the ones they give you are pretty awful)
- car!
- photo
of Tony.
Things
I brought I don't think I'll use
- shirts
(though perhaps I'll use one for that airconditioned lecture room)
- all
my writing books (doubt if they'll get used at all).
Wednesday
5 January 2004: Day 3
My
story critique
Today
my story was first up in critique session. I got to have the Clarion plush-toy
lion for comfort, but I didn't need it. Most people loved the story, and
one or two people even said "beautiful writing", so that was
very reassuring.
A
couple of people had reservations about yet another holocaust story, and
issues around that, but my response to that is it's a story I want to
tell. Whether or not anyone wants to publish or read it isn't the point.
Now,
I think the rule is I can talk about my crit without saying who said what,
so here goes. The
main points were:
- nearly
everyone said they liked the story, except one who doesn't like Holocaust
stories
- many
people said they enjoyed the writing and said that they thought it was
very accomplished
- one
lovely person said she found it gripping (my new best friend)
- a
couple of people thought I should lose the exploration of German language,
though a couple of others liked it
- the
liverwurst ending wasn't clear - was Becky refusing Germany, or accepting
it?
- the
story needs something more punchy as a resolution, perhaps something
personal for Becky.. one suggestion was that she finds out what happened
to her grandfather in the photo
- the
framing story about the Muslims next door either needs to get more personal,
showing the relationship between them and Becky, or I need to make it
clearer that I'm pointing out how Becky is being racist herself the
way most people are to some degree or another
- the
Muslims can be shown as very different (not "like us") and
yet Becky still supports the mosque
- many
found it a little long, perhaps a little repetitive towards the end,
though no one singled out anything in particular to cut (maybe I'll
find some suggestions once I work through the edited manuscripts)
- one
person found it too intense, and suggested more light and shade
- several
people missed that I had intended to convey affection for Tante Lini
herself to encapsulate everything that's good about Germans.. it was
there in the liverwurst sandwiches, but it's not overt enough for everyone
- about
half found the time shifts "masterful", the other half were
confused (so I need to make them a smidgin clearer in spots)
- Karl's
syntax needs to be more foreign (without falling into Yoda-like speech;
since Yoda was based on German syntax this presents a real difficulty
for SF readers)
- there's
too much about making the Xmas pudding
- while
one person liked the way the child Becky gets the info about Hitler,
most were bored by it because they already know what happened
- the
../images at the beginning of the rosella and the jasmine seemed "plopped
in"... need to be integrated more
- fewer
translations of the German
- one
person found the seeds metaphor too much
- one
suggestion was to make Tante Lini herself messy to show how she breaks
the stereotype, and have Karl-Heinz remark ironically about his own
need for neatness
- apparently
maple seeds are called "maple keys"!
- and
I will treasure the person who said "you're a wonderful writer".
So
overall, I'm very pleased with this response. I was hoping someone would
magically hand me "the answer" on a plate, but no one did...
but when you add all of the above up, if I make most of those changes
(the ones I think are useful) I think the story will go to the next level.
The
really sucky thing is that I have so much other work to do... four crits
a day, a new story for next week... that I will not have time to revise
Tante Lini while all of this is fresh in my mind.
I
wrote 1000 words last night but I threw them all out again. I really don't
know which story to work on for next Tuesday. And tomorrow I have my individual
session with Kim, which should be interesting.
Other
things I learned today
- break
up slabs of action (eg stage direction type stuff) with atmospheric
description
- autobiographical
stories are very tough to write! it's hard to get enough distance to
move away from "but that really happened" and towards what
makes a story satisfying to read. Life is episodic, not storylike.
Bootcamp
shmootcamp
Look,
by the end of a few more weeks I'll probably take this all back. But right
now, I'm unbelievably stoked about being here. These people are fantastic.
The writing quality is very high, no one is precious or up themselves,
people are generous, cooperative and kind. No one is holding back in reviews,
and it's such an incredible buzz.
I
feel completely privileged to be here.
Yeah,
right!
OK,
so the NASA Rover people could barely restrain the nyah nyah nyah nyah
nyahs at their success, coming so quickly after the English Beagle failure.
The Mars Exploration Rover mission's first robot probe Spirit landed on
Mars only days after Beagle failed to report in.
I
laughed when I saw the head Beagle guy on TV saying, "Of course we
congratulate NASA on it's impressive success," or something like
that, with the sourest expression. A big thought bubble hovered (invisibly)
above him saying "Shit. Shit. Shit."
The
first
pictures from Spirit are pretty damned amazing.
The
head NASA guy for the project was excited when Bush called. I can't call
him President without choking, since he actually got fewer votes
than Gore.
I
quote: "It was a wonderful phone call, humorous and exciting," Elachi
said. "We had a little chat about quantum physics and the string theory."
A
little silence here folks: Bush, the not-president of the USA, never reads.
His assistants read stuff for him and give him what they think he needs
to know. He has on his own admission done this for years. Think about
it. How much string theory do you think his aides know?
Hmm.
Reckon that was a pretty one-sided conversation, don't you? From not-President
Bush's perspective it went like this:
Elachi:
Blah blah blah blah Mars
Not-President
Bush: How fascinating.
Elachi:
Blah blah blah blah Mars Blah blah blah blah Mars Blah blah blah blah
Mars.
NPB:
That's incredible, you guys are amazing.
Elachi:
Blah blah blah blah Mars Blah blah blah blah Mars Blah blah blah blah
Mars Blah blah blah blah Mars.
NPB:
Great! Here's 10 more billion dollars!
Thursday
6 January 2004: Day 4
My
first new story
Last
night I was up till all hours writing my new story. As usual, I have a
character, a setting and a premise, but no plot. This time, unlike my
normal practice, I vow to write a plot outline before I go any further.
Session
with Kim
This
morning I met with Kim for my individual consultation. I asked her to
talk to me about how to structure and pace a novel, since she's so good
at keeping you reading. (See my comments
about her book Autumn Castle).
She
gave me a great diagram, which I haven't reproduced here for reasons of
time... basically it says the beginning of the story should be a quarter
of the book. It should show:
- the
characters
- the
conflict
- relationships
in the book
- start
of characterisation and a strong viewpoint
- write
beautifully
- ask
questions that the reader wants answered
At
the quarter point, there's a gear change. This should identify the key
conflict for the book. Kim illustrated this with Romeo and Juliet. A quarter
into the play Romeo finds out that Juliet is a Capulet, and the rest of
the play is set in motion. You can even have a character say, "Oh
my god, she's a Capulet... I can never marry her" (only in Shakespeare's
case, so much more eloquently than that).
This
point should make the reader say, "Oh, this book is going to be cool."
At
the three quarter point, you reach another gear change. This Kim called
the "Critical mass". At this point you reach the beginning of
the End. You need to set in motion everything that is going to make the
climax effective. So in Romeo and Juliet, that's where Mercutio gets killed
and Romeo kills Tibauld, which is what drives the ending of the play.
Personally
I hate that Mercutio gets killed at that point. Shakespeare must have
like Mercutio more, he's vibrant, he's funny, he's very cool. While Juliet
is a sappy twit.
Anyway,
that doesn't diminish the structural elements. At the critical mass point,
you:
-
assemble the characters
- get
them to the right place
-
at the right time
- in
the right frame of mind.
This
lets you get them to the right point for the climactic scene.
Kim
also suggests that it's really neat when the two gear change points balance,
eg a child sets off the middle action, another child sets off the end.
After
each gear change you can afford a bit of a lull. At the end of the beginning,
that can be a sex scene or an info dump. After the beginning of the end,
than can be resolving some of the subplots.
The
part leading up to the critical mass Kim describes as Novel Hell, and
by golly, that's exactly where I think I am.
Using
her structural advice, my novel probably has too much padding in the early
part, too much rabbiting on about the social life of the village. The
comet should hit earlier.
She
also suggested a prologue and a "midlogue" (my term) which allows
a lull between the two bits of middle, and lets you introduce some infodump.
For example: "The stories say..."
That
would also help me bridge the 10 year gap.
All
of this is like a blinding light going on in my head, and I feel so grateful
to have heard it. I only hope I can pull it off!
Kim's
notebook
Kim
very graciously let us look at her notebook for her current novel. I learned
quite a lot from it, in particular the amount of planning she does for
a novel which I could certainly learn from.
Without
revealing anything particular to her novel, I will set out some of the
things she works out in the planning stages and also writing stages.
- use
a calendar to show what happens when
- key
conflicts
- names
of characters
- maps
- character
sketches
- things
that could happen
- the
plot structure map, how many chapters before the middle starts, how
many chapters for the end, how many overall and how many words per chapter
- what
key things happen at each gear change
- who
are the viewpoint characters
- ideas
for the world (eg "There's a shortage of water on this dry planet
called Dune, and big worm-like beasts create spice")
- what's
going on in the world you're describing, generally speaking (eg, there
are two warring families in an Italian town)
- a
detailed plot outline - this lists each chapter and sets out in 1-2
lines the key events for each chapter (eg In chapter 1, House Atreides
is sent to Dune, Paul is tested by the Bene Gesserit... )
- a
more detailed outline of the first few chapters, scene by scene, including
the major feelings and viewpoints of the characters, identifying relationship
changes, conflicts and where the characters go and what they do (eg
about 10 lines). Eg: Intro to character X; she goes to the church in
the morning; she checks a noise in her house; she goes for a walk in
the town and feels people are watching her; she discovers that the landlady
is not what she seems. (These are not Kim's actual notes, by the way.
I made these up.) Identifies the viewpoint character for each scene
- maps
of locations, internal maps of houses
- research
questions
- clothes,
tasks, animals, houses
- what
must happen by the end of chapter 6 (the gear change), not just action
but also key feelings and knowledge
- inside
key character's head, what is going on
- editing
priorities (things to check)
- words
to search and destroy. For example:
- suddenly
- seems
- felt,
feeling
- started
to
- began
to
- grew
- he
saw the.. he heard the...
- he
thought that... he knew that...he smelled the...
- could,
would
- then
- and
then.
- word
count - which date you reach each 10,000 word milestone.
So
how fabulous is that? I do some of this, but not all, and I SO need to.
I will, immediately.
Other
things I learned today
- Don't
use character names that sound like Muppets (you know, those madeup
sounding ones in fantasy novels)
- establish
a wider viewpoint if you want one at the beginning of a short story
and at the beginning of a scene, then zoom in to the character's head.
This allows you to present things outside the character's ken without
interrupting the third person perspective
- if
there's a big slab of description needed, keep anchoring it back to
the character. (Not always, or it gets repetitive)
- pick
out the plot points in a short story - key decisions, key actions etc
- ensure they are clear and emphasised
- even
a short story should have the same proportions as the novel.
And
if you haven't already, check out the Clarion quotes
page.
Friday
7 January 2004: Day 5
Today
I am thrilled with myself, because last night I wrote the plot of my new
story scene by scene, and worked on it until it sort of matches Kim's
proportions. I still don't have any actual story... but I feel confident
I can write one this way.
Tonight
I'm going out with a few Clarionites to dinner, and having the night off
writing. Tomorrow I'll have to get stuck into it because it's due in Monday
9am. This is where our drafts are going to get rougher.
What
I learned today
Writing
a novel synopsis:
- half
a page to a page long
- describe
what the main character is doing, where they're at. Introduce the conflict
in sentence two (eg But..). Add sensory details if possible (eg, shadows
outside her cabin window). Sentence two should show "What bad shit
is going down".
- the
next para show the main subplot, then how the two plots are related
and what the conflict is
- para
3 shows the main theme, eg fate, or a key plot point (only one person
can remove the sacred excalibur from the stone)
- para
4, show the main character's key goal - the throughline
- deal
with the entire middle of the book in one or two paragraphs.. eg "In
time.."
- You
can reveal the ending, or not.. usually best to put it in
- show
the conflict and how big the stakes are
- make
the editor say "I want to read it" - doesn't need to be "I
want to publish it" yet. You want them to say, "show me a
partial" (manuscript)
Other
things:
- if
you italicise thoughts, don't add "she thought", it isn't
necessary
- nuke
"somewhat", it's the worst word in the whole English language
- choose
point of view character carefully and stay close and tight to them
- give
plenty of visual detail
- say
how they feel
Drawing
people in to a novel:
- characters
that readers want to spend time with - they don't have to be likable,
but must make readers interested
- beautiful
writing with plenty of sensory detail and atmosphere to draw the reader
along with you
- plenty
of questions that readers want answered
- action
that drives the narrative - things happen
- vary
the pace with some quieter moments and description.
More
words to search and destroy:
- just
- almost
- seems
- a
little, a bit
- it
was, there was
- cacophony
Summary
of the week
My
first week at Clarion has been a wonderful experience overall. I have
learned a lot about writing, not just from others critiquing my stories
but from critiquing other people's. It's so much easier to see flaws when
you didn't write it.
I'm
blown away by the quality of the writing, and the total coolness of the
people here. It's fabulous not working... it's fabulous spending all day
long writing, writing, writing... talking about writing... thinking about
writing...
We
have these amazing conversations, discussions about Kafka, quotes from
Dostoevsky, whether Extreme Force 2, Force on Force (the movie) was really
a porn movie with all the porn taken out, intense arguments about whether
Connie Willis is a genius or not, whether it's best to say straight out
what happens at the end of a story or leave people guessing... I love
all this. It's great being immersed in it, and just when you think Oh
God, I want something else besides writing, someone starts a discussion
about whether Johnny Depp is cuter than Brad Pitt.
On
the downside... not much. It's hot; I sprained my ankle; my mattress is
hard; I miss Tony, my dog and cat. I do miss having a comfortable sofa
as well.
The
critiquing process is interesting... people's insight has increased over
the week. We're getting fewer "I don't know"s, and crits are
more specific and constructive as the week goes along.
On
the down side, I do wish we had more time for the tutor to just talk to
us about whatever... that's the one thing that bugs me.
Anyway..
I'm having a great time.
I
went out to dinner with a few Clarionites last night rather than join
the general outing, so that I didn't have to walk too far on my sprained
ankle. Zara, Chris, Wendy and I went to Vino's, a very nice joint overlooking
the Brisbane river, and we had a complete ball. We were the table that's
laughing too loud that you want to sit far away from.
We
sang operatic critiques and thoroughly amused the Scottish waiter. Chris
did a little happy dance because his crit today was so positive, and was
completely willing to repeat it for the benefit of the waiter.
Hilarious,
but you probably needed to be there.
On
Saturday I have to write my story for Tuesday.. with just two days to
do it in. But first, a shopping trip, my washing... the usual Saturday
stuff.
Sunday
8 January 2004: Day 7
I
have finished the first draft of my new story, currently its title is
Fifteen to life. It's about cloning. I'm so totally thrilled about
the way I wrote it - not the actual draft, it's still early, but the process
I used. I wrote a character study first, and a setting, and one scene.
Then
I did a scene by scene outline, and for each scene I put in what the characters
needed to do, what the reader and characters needed to know and how the
characters should feel.
I
played around with that for a bit until I was happy with the plot, using
Kim's structure guidelines.
Then
I just went through scene by scene and wrote the story, and by golly it
was so much easier. Usually I drift around and rewrite without really
any idea what I'm rewriting for.
It
is an early draft, but it feels like draft 3 because the structure is
so much cleaner.
All
weekend has been spent writing, pretty much, although last night I did
stop about 10pm and hung out with everyone, playing cards, talking and
drinking a horrible brew called Father O'Leary's Cream, which is a poor
man's Baileys. Don't drink it, that's my advice.
Last
night I actually slept a full 8 hours, for the first time since I've been
here, which is good.
Terry
arrived tonight, and had spag bol with us all. It should be an interesting
week!
Week
2
Monday
9 January 2004: Day 8
We
had Terry's first critique session this morning. We spent the first hour
going through some general points about writing. I'd heard them all before,
but it was interesting to hear them in this setting, applying them to
the story I handed in last night.
I
wanted to pull my story back and rewrite it before anyone sees it... it's
so first draft. Ah well. Everyone else is in the same boat.
What
I learned today
- The
execution of a story is always more important than the idea. On the
other hand, if the idea is old hat, or just reworks an old trope slightly,
even a top notch execution may not be enough. Eg, if you write a castaway
story it had better be fabulous. (Hint: put one more character in it
so you don't have to make Tom Hanks talk to a basketball).
- Marry
the theme of a story and its events very closely - remove anything that
stands in its way. A subplot is okay in a novel or a novella, but rarely
works in a short story.
- Put
in details that let you get a sense of a bigger life outside the story,
where the people in it have relationships that stretch back behind the
story's beginning (if they knew each other), and that they have a history.
Just don't spend much time on it. Hint at it for flavour and richness.
- Don't
use double quotes with Courier font because sometimes they stuff up.
- The
setting in a story should be like another character.. eg the house or
woods or whatever, and it should have personality. I don't think I do
this nearly enough.
Two
great quotes
Faulkner:
all good writing is the human heart in conflict with itself.
Philip
Larkin: what is this toad 'work' that sits upon my life?
Things
to read
We
talked about our favourite books today, and these are just a few I jotted
down for myself because several people mentioned them:
- Jared
Dimand, Guns, Germs, Steel - esp for the world building
- Peter
Watts, Starfish
- Robine
McKinley, Sunshine
- George
RR Martin, Song of Ice and Fire
- Mary
Gentle, 1610 (and Ashe, which I read and thought was amazing).
My
favourite SF authors
I
have always resisted naming my favourite SF authors because there are
just so many. How do you choose between Asimov, Arthur C Clarke and Phillip
K Dick? But today I managed it because I chose the ones I'd most like
to emulate.
- Orson
Scott Card
- Connie
Willis
- Ted
Chiang
- Mary
Gentle
- Ursula
Le Guin
- Jonathan
Carroll
- Phillip
K Dick
- Kim
Wilkins
What
do these have in common? Well, it's this:
- first
and most importantly, the ability to tell a story in the old fashioned
sense of the word.. to keep people turning pages and to feel a sense
of engagement and satisfaction
- plenty
of human emotions, both dark and otherwise, that are interesting, revealing,
fraught with tension, and that show insight into the human heart
- sociological
observations that shed light on our society, either by telling urban
fantasy tales that are set now (as Ted Chiang's mostly are), or through
an alien society or fantasy world (eg Ursula Le Guin)
- looking
at the underlying structure of things, metaphysical stuff (Chiang, Dick)
- lovely
writing, that doesn't call attention to itself but that is vivid and
memorable.
Oh
my God, I've just written a list of goals for my own writing. Shit.
A tall act.
Aack!
David Hartwell next week
Terry
spoke at length today about writing something good for DH next week. I
mean, as if you'd write less than your best if you had the choice... but
talk about putting the pressure on. Some people have saved a suitcase
story for week 3, but I have only got Rockfall and I don't think
I want to use that one.
So I have to think of a plot, and I have to start tonight. Not even one
night off, because on the weekend I'm taking off with Tony to the Gold
Coast for some R&R, which I'll sorely need. At the moment, the plot
cupboard is.. well not entirely bare, but damn empty looking.
Domestic
stuff
I
didn't actually do any washing yesterday, because I was writing, so I
did it this afternoon. I peeled and chopped potatoes for the plum dumplings
I'm making for everyone tonight, and Bren read her story for tomorrow
to us. I felt so writerly... chopping vegies while five people listened
to one read her fresh story.
Last
night I finished off my story at 10pm and then spent a few hours critiquing,
and then couldn't sleep until after 3am. Several others were still awake
when I nipped out to the loo... it's tough getting into a sleeping pattern
here. I work at night, and because everything is so intense, it spins
around in my head.
Usually
I read to fall asleep, but after a full day working with words I so
do not want to read. I haven't read anything at all other than my own
or other Clarionites' writing while I've been here, with a failed attempt
to read the Sydney Morning Herald.
On
Saturday night we played a writing game after dinner. Claire cut up bits
of paper and wrote randomly chosen words on each one (by closing her eyes
and pointing in the dictionary). We each picked out a couple of words
and made sentences out of them. The next round we added another word,
and had to vary the sentence.
The
next round we added extra words to the bowl, and made it so you had to
follow on from the previous person's sentence using the same characters
and situation... that was surprisingly difficult and hilarious. Some of
the words were really quite ludicrous... dialectologist, fritterer, nailrod,
marsupial...
Mind
you, the amount of alcohol we'd drunk by then probably meant anything
would have seemed funny, but it was very cool.
We
also played Cube, and I have to say I've never come across such a gloriously
rich set of Cube ../images as that. As you'd expect. (If you haven't met
Cube, it's an ancient Sufi game involving imagination and tapping into
your subconscious.)
You
might think this blog is taking up a lot of my time. But no. I just go
blah and there it is, no more than 20 minutes a day.
Wednesday
10 January 2004: Day 10
What
happens here
This
is a strange environment to be in. I am sleeping between 3.30am and about
5, then to 9am I toss, turn, think about stories. I'm starting to get
punch drunk with tiredness. The pace is unbelievable, and I don't think
any of us can keep it up. The daily schedule for me is to get up at 9,
shower, have breakfast, chat to whoever is around (if you know me, you'll
realise this will be in words of one syllable at that hour), tidy my room.
Then
at 10, I settle in to read the critiques if I haven't already done them
the night before (sometimes I do them at 2am).
At
12, I get stuff ready for class, eat lunch, and go over to the critique
room which is about 100 yards away, though with my still sore ankle it
seems like a lot further.
Between
1 and 5 pm, we critique each other's stories. 5pm is G&T time, then
for an hour or two we write or blog or whatever in our rooms. Some nights
we drink on instead, it depends on when your story is due. Then at 7 or
so the wonderful flatmate who has cooked announces dinner, and we all
gather to eat. That's my favourite time of day because we have a ball.
After
dinner, people drift in and out of the living room but mostly we are in
our rooms working.. writing our stories or critiquing, depending on what
we're up to.
Then
around 1am, I'll often come back out for a drink and a break, and there's
usually people up and someone to talk to.
So
as you can see, working takes up at least 6 hours a day for critiquing,
and another 6 or so for writing. It's full on.
My
head space has utterly been consumed by this. I can't remember having
had another life outside of it. Tony called and asked me about the renovations
we're having done, and I could barely remember that it was happening.
I can't really remember what I do at work, or anything like that.
It's
totally absorbing. Others are finding the same thing, and some people
can't even speak to their partners or friends because nothing is interesting
outside of what we're doing. I don't think this can actually go on for
six weeks, I will explode.
My
story critique
I
presented Fifteen to Life yesterday, and it fared quite well. Considering
that I started it here, plotted it here and wrote the whole thing in two
days, I was very happy with the response.
The
opening scene was universally felt to belong to another story, so I intend
to write that story this week. Terry and a couple of others said the story
started on page 8, and that is exactly where it used to begin, so I was
quite impressed with that. Other than that, I need to prune back the dialogue,
fix the logic and beef up the fear.
People
found a bunch of logic problems which I mostly knew about, though one
or two were Oops moments. Just a factor of showing such an early draft.
- the
scene between David and Rose should foreshadow the end more
- Rose
is too happy at the end, too "justified"
- would
Rose really do the transfer, the conditions are extreme - show why she
does it (ie to live longer)
- why
can't Rose go into the recovery room and see Dave is there?
- the
whole validation process, the ID etc, should be clearer, show that it
happens in the processing room between processing and burning
- show
how empties are used, difference between empties and clones
- show
how she knows Brian is a clone at the start
- make
it clearer she's afraid to do the transfer
- there
might be mental changes (ie to younger outlook)
- why
use lifers for the FBs?
- Dave
paid all his money for the transfer, so there's no money left for Rose
- include
an electrode scene to show the techy part about transfer
- make
it clearer about the financial side, that you dont' get out until your
debt is paid off
- put
more chickens around the house
- lose
the bit about the new face, it's a distraction
- tighten
the pacing
- if
she's strapped down, how does she lift her clone's head to have a look?
- Rose
should form new bonds with the people in the processing room
- tell
which eye Rose and Dave have their tattoos on, so the reader gets it
just before Rose does
- show
that Dave has the will made out to Rose.. why would he do that if he
intends to betray her?
- why
do they go at different times?
- it's
not clear that empties can't do anything
- too
much dialogue is slowing the pace down
- Rose
should hold on to her doubt and have a fight with Kate
- it
should be more sinister
- make
more of the cut price clones
- show
a tissue sample being taken so you can establish how they get the clones
- Rose
realises Dave betrays her twice - remove one
- reduce
the number of minor characters with names
- lifting
a body is hard... Rose might not be able to do this
- make
more of the tension between Rose and Dave
- punch
up the material that conveys important info more
- Dave
should convince Rose to do it in a nasty kind of way
- show
Rose being frightened of the process, asking "will I be doing FBs?"
This
sounds like a very long list, but I am not disheartened. In actual fact
all these things are easily solved. One rewrite should do it. (And of
course I may not actually take all of the suggestions, ESP where they're
contradictory).
Individual
session
My
individual session with Terry focussed on the type of writing I want to
do and the career I want to have, so that was quite interesting as well.
Regarding my story, he said I should:
-
make more of Rose's fear, like being in hospital when you haven't been
there before
- have
her asking questions of the nurse, talking about Dave. She's out of
her depth and feels like a chump
- have
her worry about whether she'll remember everything afterwards
- think
about a more ingenious end. (Hmm. Easy to say!)
Clarion
life
A
few people have had cries this week - from critiques, from individual
sessions, about calls from home, or just sheer exhaustion.
Last
night we had a big party on our floor, and drank quite a lot of really
terrible booze, including some terrible stuff called Father O'Leary's
cream which is a rip off of Baileys made from soy milk and coffee, or
something disgusting like that. My advice: don't ever drink it.
It
was a hoot, and we laughed continuously for hours and hours. We were at
it so long we had to have another meal in the middle. Since we've all
been apart from our partners for nearly two weeks now, the conversation
seemed to keep coming back to sex, which made it even funnier.
I
had always imagined that hanging out with a bunch of writers would involve
erudite, witty, colourful conversation ripe with metaphor, wordplay and
arcane knowledge. Wonder no more. It really does.
Well...
except when it involves conversations about whether Father O'Leary's cream
is really cream or not, or whether zombie stories should also have tentacles
in them. Then it's dumb, but funny in a you-had-to-be-there kind of way.
Some
people went to bed at 5.30am (I went at 3.30) and most of our floor, plus
all the others who dropped in, were really tired this morning, though
I hasten to point out I was not hungover. This night has now been dubbed
Voldemort night (the night that must not be named).
Claire
has put up some pictures of
Voldemort night.
Tonight
though I need to knuckle down and get this new story going, so no drinkies
for me tonight. Sheesh, only one night off in two weeks. Work is a walk
in the park compared to this.
What
I learned
- use
petty irritations between people to give a flavour of the reality of
the world
- use
technical terms and professional knowledge (eg, a plumber would say
stopcock, how they do things in what order)
- for
a familiar type of story you need to blindside the reader - you need
two surprises per story, and one should devastate you
- it
should reward a rereading, so that things become more obvious the second
time around but still rewarding
- remove
indents after a scene break
- remove
conjunctions where you can (eg, the day was hot and filled with dust
as the woman in the red dress waited until the evening fell. This becomes
"The day was hot, filled with dust. The woman in the red dress
waited. Evening fell." This may be too clipped, but immediately
it's stronger.)
- avoid
"with", (eg "I looked at the sun with its glowing face"
becomes "I looked at the sun's glowing face).
- be
immediate - show exactly what happens, be specific about details
- use
shorter sentences
- look
for repeated tics, eg using one type of sentence, a phrase (in my mind,
to my mind), a word (all, somewhat), or even punctuation, such as "Oh..."
- ensure
the reader has the right set of costumes and sets. Control what they
see.
- can
you remove a character? If you can, and it's the same story, you have
a problem.
Big
improvements people made to stories are mostly about:
- upping
the stakes
- increasing
the conflict
- increasing
the power of the payoff
- making
the characters more real
- fixing
pace problems.
Thursday
15 January 2004: Day 11
Clarion
life
Last
night Sarah made an amazing Osso Bucco. We slurped it up and sucked out
the juicy marrow unabashedly. Then we worked out we're spending $200 every
two days on groceries and booze.. It has to stop!
This
afternoon there's a reading in the city, and a group dinner, but I have
to go to the physiotherapist to get my ankle seen to. I have resisted
it so far hoping it will just settle down but it's still sore and weak,
and my flatmates convinced me I should get it looked at properly.
What
I learned today
- Don't
stay up until 3am critting and writing every single night or you will
walk around like a dead wom
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